The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
