so that wasnt chicken after all
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
