I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
