Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize