hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All the doctor said was why
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
