So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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