Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize