You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
