So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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