1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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