You're so nebulous sometimes
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
