I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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