YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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