just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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