Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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