Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
