she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
