you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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