I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
