Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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