Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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