I just saw a hot homeless man
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
