this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
