I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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