im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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