the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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