ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
