2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
