playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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