i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
