she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
