So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
