i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think i got beer on your cat.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
