i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
