i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
