So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
