Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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