If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We have started to decorate penises.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
