I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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