But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
