I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
