Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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