So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
