i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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