If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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