It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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