When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
