So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
