Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
