i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sarcasm needs its own font
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
