hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
