my being single is dangerous.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Boobs speak an international language.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
