The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
