id be glad to
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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