Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
