: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
