oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is it because I queefed?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
