So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
