Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well I just put wine in my tea
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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