you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
