people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
