Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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