need another drink. this is the easiest way
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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