break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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